Earlier today I sat knowing I “should” write a blog. However I didn’t because honestly I didn’t want to and let’s be real, this is not something I get paid for it is something I enjoy. There is a pressure of pleasing people, before I left so many people said “make sure you update facebook, tell us where your going every day”.
Now it is a wonderful caring sentiment but for various reasons I struggle with this. Firstly my plans are very loose and they are just that, my plans. Secondly being a milenial (apparently) there is this sense of social media being a chore. I go back and forth, sometimes it is fun, other times a chore. I call this “people pleasing” and it is something I struggle with all the time. Trying to please parents, clients, my community, society. For no reason at all. I just feel that if everyone else is happy (and happy with me) then I am valid/a good person/worthy. Knowing this lead me to an agreement to only write when I have something to share, when I want to say something.
It is now later in the day and I am on my balcony listening to the sounds of the Caribbean sea loving my life. I have just returned from an average Spanish lesson. I found new teacher in Santa Marta who I was super excited to work with, I was planning on another week of study. As I walked away after our fist session I felt uninspired and flat. With my teacher in Medellin I was mentally exhausted but ready to return the next day. A class tomorrow feels like a chore and something I would do to be a “good student” and people please, becauae I had made some plan with the universe to do another week of study. Let’s not forget I would also be handing over my time and money to appease this idea of “being good”.
As a teacher in a fitness studio connection and inspiration are crucial to me. If you dont like my class thats fine there is a perfect teacher for you somewhere and I am ok that it’s not me. So as I sat here I realised I was not allowing myself the same experience, to be uplifted, challenged and step out of class feeling great. I went back to my favourite question, in this moment what would bring me the greatest joy?
This question has lead to road trips, steak dinners with wine and meeting strangers who I now call friends. I am fortunate that I can ask this question every day, with few commitments I can follow each whim. However I know it is possible in your daily life too. So I dare you, once this week to find a way to ask and act upon your greatest joy in that moment.
I am about to write a polite email saying I will not be taking anymore classes this week and enjoy a week by the coast, next week I will organise skype classes with the teachers who inspire and challenge me. Or maybe I won’t at the end of the day the only person you need to please is you. Even in the tasks that we “have” to do there is a solution. Go get some joy in your life, you deserve it and so much more.
A quick summary of my final week in Medellin to cover my travelbases. I am now on the coast in a town called Santa Marta, the oldest city in Colombia. I finished classes with the wonderful Diego and Angela, after a month I am speaking Spanish. Badly but I can get my point across. The highlight was a suprise. My gorgeous family from Venezuela suprised me at a lunch, I thought it was only going to be the Medelin locals but was so blessed to open the door and see faces from my first trip to South America. People I thought I wouldn’t see for a long time. I have never had a suprise birthday but I think this is what it is like. We cried, laughed and shared stories. I felt very blessed to have people make an international effort to see me. Thank you to all of Medellin for making me feel at home. I’ll see you when I get there.